Feeling Guilty

Lately I have been so busy with work that when I come home I am too tired to spend quality time with Junior any more. I tend to react rather than respond.

There are others who are doing the same role as me at work, but I wonder why they can take everything so lightly while I am foolishly working my guts out and putting my family at stake.... I don't spend time with Junior now then when?

I shall give myself up till end of June and see how it goes. By then still can't I am throwing my towel in...Isaiah and my family shall come first.

Reflection just before the Chinese New Year

All these while I had been very committed to work. I could go all the way out to complete what I need to do and I will do it well (even at the expense of my health)

But lately I had been feeling I am being taken for granted in the company. All the hard work I had put in and no one bother to appreciate. What made it worst was after putting in all the efforts, it ended up as others' credit.

Another bad experience was also my boss.

A boss whom I had great respect and appreciate, had stopped talking to me all of the sudden. This week when I am back in the office, there is just akward feelings in the air. He didn't even bothered to personally pass me the re-designation letter. I felt that i don't matter much to the department and I could be kicked out just like that....How disappointing.

 

I am not pushing all the blames away but I behave the way I behave is because there were too much pride in my work that I find it hard to release and it could have caused all the misuderstanding.

However, upon reflection, I need to move on and no point to dwell on what had passed. I need to continue to help those who deserves my help and to those who doesn't deserve my time I should not be feeling all sad and sorrow because they are not worth it. I should take a step back and be like those others in the office... happy - go - lucky. As it is not worth worrying and worrying and be a fool.

All the negative vibes will need to go away and I want to start new with this Chinese New Year. Time for me to mend my relationship back with my family rather than outsiders. There is really no one worth my effort and my time except my family.